Vocaloid: User's Manual
by BlackIceReiya
Summary: This is a complete guide for users to use the Vocaloid units. This is made to prevent malfunctions and so we will not be responsible for any road roller damages, major leek injuries, ice cream lose and tuna deaths caused by failure to read and apply instructions.
1. Kagamine

I didn't have anything to do, so this came out… (And because I want that Vocaloid Program so much!)

This idea was inspired by Ichigo-chanNya's Vocaloid 02: Kagamine Len: User's Manual. I did not come up with this idea and concept.

Now, enjoy.

* * *

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of the world's famous singing synthesizer program, Vocaloid. The Vocaloid now in your hands is **Vocaloid 02: Kagamine Rin and Len**. Please read the User's Manual carefully to prevent any tragic deaths, road roller accidents, tormenting loses or crazy malfunctions. Please look at our catalog for more Vocaloids to complete your collection.

We do not accept returns, exchanges or trade-ins and we are also in no part to be responsible for any damages, injuries, lose and deaths caused by failure to read and apply these instructions. We apologize for any inconvenience.

Basic information:

Kagamine Rin

Name: Kagamine Rin, also known as Rinny or Rin-chan.

Shipping Age: 14 year old physically. Subject to change should product shift to LOLI mode. (See below)

Height: 5'0" / 152cm

Weight: 94.79lbs / 43kg

Hair color: Golden Yellow to Dark Gold. (Made specific to order) Unit will tie hair up with a ribbon and at least three hairpins. (Please prepare at least 27 hairpins at home due to unit always losing her stuff. )

Eye color: Ocean Blue to Green Jade. (Made specific to order)

Birthday: 27th December.

Kagamine Len

Name: Kagamine Len, also known as Lenny or Len-Len.

Shipping Age: 14 year old physically. Subject to change should product shift to SHOTA mode. (See below)

Height: 5'1.4" / 156cm

Weight: 103lbs / 47kg

Hair color: Golden Yellow to Dark Gold. (Made specific to order)Unit will tie hair up into a small ponytail.

Eye color: Ocean Blue to Green Jade. (Made specific to order)

Birthday: 27th December.

Included with:

Unit comes with a USB cable for both, allowing the users to be able to connect units to the computer. Also compatible with iPod chords.

* * *

Start-up instructions

Upon arrival, open immediately. If product is kept contained for period longer than one hour, one of these settings will take effect:

**TSUNDERE MODE:** Rin will act like a princess and keep ordering you to serve her, while Len would swear to you like he's never been before. Please note that this could lead to possible tragic loses, including having your room been stolen, your credit card disappearing and the possibility of your computer being taken away forever. The good news is this mode would only maintain for 3 hours and sixteen minutes. So please, survive till then.

**SHOTA/ LOLI MODE**: Rin and Len would cry like the cutest kids in the whole world and may attract a lot of pedophiles. If occurred, comfort them until they stop, or else face the mighty Kagamine tears.

**EMO MODE**: Rin and Len would be, obviously, emo. But it would only maintain for ten minutes. In the meantime, get them away from any knives, needles, syringe, drugs, lights and other things that could kill, including twigs.

**REBEL MODE**: Rin and Len would act like a typical teenager, worse than TSUNDERE MODE. If happen, letting them have some personal time together would calm them down and turn off REBEL MODE.

As stated above, damage to life or property from failure to read manual of operation of Kagamine Rin and Len unit is not held accountable to our Company.

Programming

The Kagamine Rin and Len unit is one of our proudest achievements in our catalog, and includes a wide selection of functions. Including:

**Singing:** As with all our other Vocaloid Units, the Kagamine Unit's primary use is for singing. All you have to do is plug them onto the computer and the Vocaloid program would appear. Type in the melodies and lyrics for them or you could simply insert an MP3 file into them. They would convert the song into data and sing them out as you want them to.

**Song Writing:** The Vocaloid Unit is extremely creative and would write songs anywhere and anytime, whenever they feel like it. So prepare a notepad for them. If not, prepare to see lyrics on your walls.

**Append:** It is the same as singing, but they will convert the song into data and sing them out with the following voicebank: Power, Soft, Warm, Serious, Cold.

The Vocaloid Units are life-like robots and would act like a normal teenager, providing care, food and fun for them would save you from getting killed. They are, of course, lot more functions to be discovered and users should take time to explore.

Modes

Vocaloid units might change their modes depending on their feelings. These are the modes for Kagamine units:

**Teenager Mode:** Default mode.

**Shota Loli mode**: Units would start acting like a seven year old child and cry to their heart's content. At this time, they would look very cute and cuddly, causing pedophiles to appear. They might also cause the melting of your heart and send you to the hospital, beware.

**Twincest Mode**: There is a 83% of this mode to happen. Since the Kagamine units spend most of their time together, the possibility of romance happening between the units is large. User would have to check on them from time to time to prevent any noise and inappropriate scenes to be witnessed by the users.

**Road Roller Mode**: Happens when there is a road roller within 1500 feet radius of user's house. They would take control of the road roller and flatten everything that stands in their way, driving like the craziest kids in the whole universe. If mode activates, get the hell out of there and never return. Run like the wind.

**Protective Sister/Brother Mode**: Might become protective of other Kagamine Unit. Therefore any other person or unit that tries to cause trouble to one of the Kagamine Unit would probably die terribly.

**Destruction Mode**: Often initiated by other Vocaloid Units such as Kaito Shion, Hatsune Miku and other more. Unit will show signs of extreme aggravation and annoyance and even attempt to murder the cause of its annoyance.

* * *

Interactions with other Units:

The Kagamine Units could quickly take to any other Units and get to know each other. See our attached catalog for complete listing of Vocaloid units!

We recommend the following units for interaction:

**Kagamine:** Of course, the two units are sold together, and so interaction between the two is a must. They are mostly inseparable and are always together. But when letting them play games together (PS3, PS2, PSP, NDs, PC etc.) would cause a war to happen inside your house. Any games would cause this to happen, including Mario Bros.

**Hatsune Miku**: The Vocaloid unit is set to be 2 years older than the Kagamine unit, therefore there is a 50% that the Kagamine Units treat Miku as a big sister. Or they would treat her as the annoying girl whose pigtail could kill.

**Kaito Shion**: The Vocaloid unit is set to be 4 years older than the Kagamine unit, therefore there is a 40% that the Kagamine Units treat Kaito as a big brother. Or they would treat him as the ice cream idiot or the stupid pedophile and road-roller him over.

**Meiko:** The Vocaloid unit is set to be 4 years older than the Kagamine unit, therefore there is a 70% that the Kagamine Units treat Meiko as a big sister. Or they would treat her as the drunkard who never gives up on killing Kaito.

**Kamui Gakupo**: The Unit has not being fully developed.

**Megpoid Gumi**: The Unit has not being fully developed.

There are of course, at least a dozen more Vocaloid Units to be used. Interaction between Vocaloid Units is important and would affect the feelings of the units.

* * *

Troubleshooting Kagamine Unit:

Problem: They're in twincest mode! Stop it! Please, stop it! I can't bear seeing my Rin with Len!

Solution: The problem is still under development; therefore, there is no way to stop the mode unless you reboot the units.

Problem: My Kagamine units kept talking about deaths and sickness and diseases and being useless. What is going on?

Solution: What did you make them sing? Singing tragic songs continuously might lead to problems like these. To solve the problem, let them sing cute or happy songs.

Problem: My Kagamine units kept talking about love. Are they dating?

Solution: There is a possibility that they are dating, or maybe you just let them sang too much love songs.

Problem: My Kagamine units kept talking about sex, what is happening?

Solution: Exactly what the hell did you let them sing?

Problem: They've flattened my lawn, broke down my wall, ruined my garden, chopped down the tree and crushed every fence they saw, why?

Solution: There is probably a road roller within 1500 feet radius of your house. Farewell.

* * *

If you have further questions or comments, please contact us at: 1-1800-BIR-JACK

Order your Vocaloid unit now!

And you can start requesting your next Vocaloid instruction manual.


	2. Hatsune Miku

Due to the reason that you were rich, you have bought a new Vocaloid Unit! Cheers!

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of the world's famous singing synthesizer program, Vocaloid. The Vocaloid now in your hands is **Vocaloid 02: Hatsune Miku**. Please do read the User's Manual carefully to avoid the swiping of your credit card, tragic deaths, leek pies or crazy malfunctions. Please look at our catalog for more Vocaloids to complete your collection.

We do not accept returns, exchanges or trade-ins and we are also in no part to be responsible for any damages, injuries, lose and deaths caused by failure to read and apply these instructions. We apologize for any inconvenience.

* * *

Basic Information:

Hatsune Miku

Name: Hatsune Miku

Age: 16 physically.

Height: 5'2"/ 158cm

Weight: 92.4 lbs. / 42 kg

Hair color: Dark Blue to Leek Green. (Make specific to order) Unit will tie hair up with hair accessories and will continue to do so until unit is perfect like a princess.

Included with:

Unit comes with a USB cable for both, allowing the users to be able to connect units to the computer. Also compatible with iPod chords.

* * *

Start-up instructions

Upon arrival, open immediately to avoid getting your home destroyed. If product is kept contained for period longer than one hour, one of these settings will take effect:

**Rage Mode**: Yes, rage mode. To be more specific, unit will start breaking things/ killing you/ burning down your neighbor's home and blame it on you/ screaming with her high pitch voice(You do not want to hear that)/ imitate that one guy in Soul Eater and start throwing ninja stars at you.

**Emo mode**: As the title says, emo, but it would maintain for about 20 minutes due to the unit's crazy and cheerful mind. Still, get the unit away from knives. No, she will not cut herself, but she will cut you instead. Good luck.

**Cooking mode**: Imagine trying to cook leeks with milk, spaghetti, lasagna, pie, a human being and a giraffe. Now add whatever it is in front of you inside it. And there you have it, the dish of death.

**Metal guitar mode:** Problem is, unit does not know how to play a metal guitar. Good luck listening to her trying to play it for the rest of your day.

* * *

Programming

The unit is one of our proudest achievements in our catalog, and includes a wide selection of functions. Including:

Singing: As with all our other Vocaloid Units, the Hatsune Unit's primary use is for singing. All you have to do is plug them onto the computer and the Vocaloid program would appear. Type in the melodies and lyrics for them or you could simply insert an MP3 file into them. They would convert the song into data and sing them out as you want them to.

**Song Writing**: Upon watching Korean/Japan/Taiwan love drama, unit will start to get really emotional and write lyrics like they live for it. Do prepare a notepad for them, or else.

* * *

Modes

Vocaloid units might change their modes depending on their feelings. These are the modes for the Hatsune unit:

**Teenager mode**: Default mode

**Rage mode**: Unit will become a crazy girl who would try to imitate the God of War game or start playing 'let's kill' with you. Manual comes with a survival guide and an aid kit, look at it.

**Spinning mode**: Of all the modes, this is the most dangerous one. Unit will start spinning around and destroy everything in sight with those pigtails of hers. Stay low or run like it's a zombie apocalypse.

**Drunken mode**: Unit gets drunk very easily and will start wrestling you so that she can win her imaginary big gold belt. Or she will turn into Spiderman.

**Leek mode:** Upon interaction with leeks, unit will turn into a girl obsessed with leeks and start walking around smelling like it. Trust me, it stinks.

* * *

Interactions with other Units:

The Hatsune Unit could quickly take to any other Units and get to know each other. See our attached catalog for complete listing of Vocaloid units!

We recommend the following units for interaction:

**Kagamine Rin and Len**: Due to their very cute and cuddly face, unit will try its best to hug them and end up getting smacked in the head or crushed with a road roller. Or, they would become best friends.

**Kaito Shion**: Get the unit away from him, as far as you can. Because it either ends in them being in a love relationship or it'll end up as Miku being a sadist forever.

**Meiko**: To avoid drunken mode, do not let Unit get close to her.

**Kamui Gakupo**: The thing is, eggplants and leeks do not work very well together.

**Gumi Megpoid**: Unit has not being fully developed.

There are of course, at least a dozen more Vocaloid Units to be used. Interaction between Vocaloid Units is important and would affect the feelings of the units.

* * *

Troubleshooting Hatsune Miku

Problem: So, apparently…she's in rage mode, what do I do?

Solution: Pack your things up and leave for another country.

Problem: She looks like she's very depressed. What should I do?

Solution: Get Kagamine Units to turn into Shota/Loli mode and let Miku hug them to her heart's content. Or, leeks.

Problem: She kept shouting "It's over 9000!".

Solution: Stop her from watching Dragon Ball before she ends up Kamehameha-ing everybody.

Problem: Save me! She's in Spinning mode!

Solution: …There is no solution. Goodbye.

* * *

If you have further questions or comments, please contact us at: 1-1800-BIR-JACK

Order your Vocaloid unit now!

And you can start requesting your next Vocaloid instruction manual.


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